new feature: finding inspiration

while being home in lubbock i've become reliant on outside sources of inspiration.

i've been such a nomad for the past 4 years that life in "stationary" makes my brain itch for more, more, more. God has been filling my mind and heart with so much in last few weeks. Many things i will begin sharing very, very soon. buuuuuuuut right now i want to open up a new feature to this blog. "finding inspiration" is going to be filled with the nouns that inspire me. don't expect alot of words but please expect pictures and sources.

:::

bye, kels

family status

is a phrase that has become how i, along with a few others, describe the bond between the group of people i got to spend life with while doing my ywam dts in san francisco. i have found God's humor when i look at the motley crew i spent the past six months of my life with. to say that i miss them would be an understatement. i am baffled to think that six months ago i began living life with total strangers. these total strangers however, were walking into a journey with the same expectations as me. we wanted to experience God and understand His truth more than ever.

i love that i can say those total strangers are now the exact opposite of strangers. they are family to me. we have grown to love each other through all of our flaws, we have wept with one another and laughed hysterically together. we've traveled the world and experienced pieces of God that have left me awestruck. i walked into 357 ellis street expecting to fall more in love with the Lord; i left 357 ellis street having fallen in love with God but also with the hearts of thirteen amazing human beings. man oh man do i miss them but its comforting to know that saying goodbye really only meant, see ya later.

oh and just a little bit of why they make me laugh hysterically

fall 2010, ya'll hold a really special place in my heart

Sawadee Kah, Baan Jai Daow

House of One Heart is exactly that. This community is so wonderful. My team and I were lucky enough to spend four weeks in this community while we were in Bangkok, Thailand. Baan Jai Daow [BJD for short] is a ministry dedicated to the discipleship of university students living in and around Bangkok. They provide students with low cost housing within a Christian community. Seriously, one of the most ingenious ideas EVER! They teach English twice a week, cook large family meals all of the time, provide bible studies multiple times a week and are staffed with self-less people who desire to see the heart of Thailand change. They also have an in-house coffee shop. This is where YWAM SF steps in J.

Every day we would go onto the campus and look for students who looked lonely, or looked like they were on a break from studying and we would strike up a conversation with them. After talking with them [usually laughing and desperately trying to figure out what the other person was saying] we would invite them to lunch with us or to grab a drink at the coffee shop. Once we would get back to BJD we would play endless rounds of UNO, Phase10, or Sequence. I don’t quite know how but these games opened up the door for several relationships to begin. Bringing students back to BJD with us also allowed for the staff to get involved and then pursue longer term relationships with the students.

I believe in all of my heart that the young [15-25] generation of Thailand have been called a generation of righteousness. While praying over the nearby university God placed Psalm 14 on my heart and more specifically verses 2, 5 and 7. This young generation is the generation in verse 2, they are the people who want to understand, who are tired of tradition and of saving face and are desperate for something they have never had.

Thailand,

You took me by storm. Your people are full of smiles and warmth; they were created to worship something/someone great and mighty. They have such a quiet nature about them but once a little bit of trust is formed their impact becomes loud. Thai people are a force to be reckoned with. Your food, well, it is epic. Who would have known that sticky rice and chicken on a stick could become a desired necessity in life? Your weather, the hot and the hotter, was a welcomed escape from frosty, foggy frisco. Your language is one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. The moments I experienced your people worshiping God in your language are moments I do not want to forget; there is such abandonment of self within their worship.

You broke me heart sweet country of smiles. Your intricate temples and devotion to an infinite number of gods stole my breath. Yes, those temples are so beautiful and I know they are your history and your identity but Thailand, “the God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands…being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man”. You will be freed of the fear of man, the fear of being different. This God is different, He is life; He is joy in your heart and not just a smile on your face. This God loves every single piece of you.

Thailand, thank you for your simplicity. Thank you for desiring relationship over entertainment and for not being satisfied with the minimum given by the heart.

i'm back

and my whole world has been shaken to the core. the last six months of my life have been a whirlwind. life as i knew it in august no longer exists. life before san francisco and south east asia seems like some weird, faded memory that i can't seem to grab a hold of. i don't know if i can fully put into words my experiences or the effects of living a life that desperately longs for relationship. but i do know that the last six months were merely the beginning of the greatest adventure of my life.

its the final countdown!!

whew, we leave for thailand and vietnam in 10 days! people have been asking me if i'm excited or ready to go.

ready? quiet possibly yes. excited? not yet.

i'm one of those weirdos who counts down for events but doesn't have the pangs of excitement until the moment i load myself onto the airplane. i think alot of that comes from a history of focusing much of myself in my plans for "tomorrow" and, in turn, losing where i am "today". today i am still on outreach in san francisco. would i be lying if i said that this past month was a great huge whirlwind of exciting things, and miraculous happenings? yes, yes i would. truthfully, this has been one of the hardest months of my entire life. its been difficult spiritually, emotionally, and physically. i have found myself getting EXTREMELY frustrated with day to day things, with monotony. i have been fiercely fighting the idea that i'm not doing enough for His kingdom.

in ywam sf we are really focused on relational evangelism. that is building relationships with people and allowing discipleship to happen rather than just "converting" someone to christianity and leaving them alone to figure out their new life on their own. the thing i'm finding most frustrating is that building relationships is a hard thing. sometimes it means not physically doing anything and instead taking a step back, taking my hand off of the controls and letting God work, actually becoming vulnerable to God's direction. i am really bad at vulnerability.

so am i ready to go to thailand and vietnam and run away from this month of frustration? yes! do i understand that running away doesn't solve anything? yes! this season that i have entered into is not easy at all. i was reading ezekiel 47 a week or so ago and verse 12 talks about how these trees on the banks of a river find their nourishment from the water that comes from the sanctuary. the trees aren't able to fully function unless they are receiving the water that comes from that pure source. my eyes opened up. i have been relying so much on what i have been doing, where/if/when i have seen the fruits of my labor. i have been the source of my nourishment and quiet frankly, that is not working out so well. its such a basic fundamental that our satisfaction and fulfillment is supposed to come from the Sanctuary, the Source of life but it is a fundamental that i neglect on a regular basis.

so am i ready to go to thailand and vietnam and allow vulnerability and cravings for Him to be my source of satisfaction? yes! i am so ready to grasp a tinge of understanding in how to do that.

ok, so i have one more thing to tell you about. as most of you know i had to raise financial support to come to my DTS. while raising support my biggest prayer was that God would provide before i left for san fran. i did not want to be here trying to focus on this city and have worries of money in the back of my mind. God completely provided everything literally days before i left. however, some of my team are still in need of several thousand dollars. if looking at finances as a whole instead of individually, "collectively" we still need $5500 by wednesday at the absolute latest. if you or anyone you know would be interested in supporting some of my friends financially so that they could go to thailand and vietnam PLEASE let me know ASAP!!! email me at kelseereeves@yahoo.com if you have any questions! i also want to ask for your prayers for this!

thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

kels

backtrack: the honeymoon-weeks one & two

the very first week we got to ywam sf was very much an orientation type week. i really like to call this time period the honeymoon. we all came in bright eyed and ready for something HUGE. i had no clue what dts really meant except that i would be in the city of san francisco, learning about God & missions, learning about the city and what ministry looks like here, and where/how i fit in that mix. we started out learning all of the do's and don'ts of the base as well as of the tenderloin. we then moved into what the staff felt like the heart for the fall 2010 school was. God really put on their hearts the verse 2 corinthians 3: 16-18 "...and we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" and that is exactly what has been happening. God has slowly been removing our veils. as each week progresses the ability to see the glory of God working in each others life has been beautiful. walls have been broken down and there is an overall realization that we aren't asked to just believe in God, or even just know God, we are asked to be a likeness of Christ.

i will admit that when i realized i would be in "classes/lectures" most of the day i was slightly disappointed. i honestly had no idea what to expect coming here but going back to class was not anything close. that was silly though. we are a lucky group of ywamers because we get the chance to learn about the character & nature of God and then take that knowledge, allow it to transform our hearts and then go and do ministry/life with people literally right outside of our front door.

going into week two i was full of anticipation. i was so ready to get things started. our first speaker was Karri Manning. She worked with ywam kona for several years and is now a youth pastor in salem, oregon. She spoke on understanding the character & nature of God. she really stressed that the character & nature of God is one that comes from an insanely deep love we don't necessarily understand. it is not one that hinders growth but instead desires for us to understand newness, beauty, love and affection. in the garden God did not create adam to know the difference between good and evil. he created adam so that man would know God.

we also did an exercise were we listed things that the world tells us about ourselves, things that while God sees them as precious the world's view has tainted and made ugly. that is a powerful thing to do. i challenge you to try it. make a list of the lies you believe about yourself... i.e. you're not desirable, you're stronger, you'll never be successful, you are too successful, you can't be loved, etc and then sit and ask God what he says about you. during week two we had the opportunity to mediate on psalm 139. it says in verse 14 that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" or "fearfully set apart". God did not mess up. it is his character to be purposeful and it is his nature to always love you. looking back, week two was just a drop in the bucket for what was to come. i'm excited to finally be sharing all that He has done and all that i've learned over the past 12 weeks! be looking out for weeks three and four in the next few days.