i don't really know if that is the right title for this post but it certainly feels like it should be. Let me give you a little background:
for the past 3 years i have lived a very comfortable, exciting, friend filled life in the beautiful little city of san marcos, texas. this is where i went to college, where i "grew up" for the first time, where i started defining me. well, all good things must come to an end right? a week ago i graduated from the wonderful institution that took me to the city by the river, a week ago i put a period on the final sentence of one hell of a chapter in this ragged book called life.
for the past 6 years i have been heavily praying about joining a team with the group Youth With a Mission [YWAM]. 2010 seems to be the year of answering a huge call in my life. so with graduation came the insanely exciting reality of GOING. on september 13 i will be leaving texas and moving to san francisco, california to join YWAM.
and this is where today begins...where the waiting happens. i titled this post purgatory because honestly i feel like that is where i am. i am stuck in this place of waiting. after graduation i moved "home" to lubbock where life is NOT what it was 3 years ago. am i ok with this? with the moving part no, with the change of life after 3 years, yes. however i just don't know what to do with myself. i know this time is something really special for me and Christ. it is a time where i can really develop an intimacy with Him that i have yet experienced, however my heart really misses life in san marcos.
i feel like i've gone through an awkward break-up.
you know the kind; when you are still really good friends with the person and you carry a deep love for them but looking at them destroys your insides and you go through that akward time between finding yourself again and still wanting what was/is absolutely necessary. yeah, that's me and san marcos right now. i know had to leave...my call there was not permanent and my call to san fran is so strong. i just hate this waiting game.
so if you are reading this i'm gonna ask you two things. one that you would pray for this waiting period. that growth and intimacy would be the fruits of this and that my heart would not be jealous or bitter of the time i don't get in san marcos. two, that you would BE where you are..we are given today and today only, so please cherish that.
i love you
kels
pic [this is me in my fav coffee shop..learning how to wait]
